Advice on dating for guys
"Please don't assume we're going to the nicest restaurant in the city because I won't take you there.I'll take you to a dive bar with amazing burgers to see how you react.I like it best when someone can counter me with questions of their own." —Noah A."Don't hate on other girls.I actually had one girl, while we were in the middle of a conversation, look over at another girl and say, 'Eww, look at that girl's dress.' The way she said it sounded so bitchy and I wasn't into it at all. The guy will almost always hold the door open, pay for dinner, etc., but it's still nice to hear a thank you and know that it's all appreciated. I've almost come to stop expecting them so it's especially nice when I hear them.Half the fun of going out is getting to know someone new, so allow yourself to let that happen organically." —Oliver B."Please don't compare us to your exes—out loud or even in your head.Sometimes horror stories about them can make for fun discussion, but don't ever bring your ex into the conversation if it's not called for.
Dainty foods (read: salads) seem to have a low correlation to fun and enjoyment.
But I think in your mind you need to discipline yourself to think, “She is my sister in the Lord.” First Timothy is clear. Do that.” Then I give them Romans, “Make no provision for the flesh” (Romans ). Spend time with her but do it with a group of friends.
Treat older women as mothers, younger women as sisters with absolute purity (1 Timothy 5:2). Spend time with her but do it in a coffee shop or at a restaurant where you’re much less likely to grope each other.” I say, “Go someplace public to be private.
You don’t fool around with your sister, because that’s nasty, right? I have to treat her like I would want someone to treat my baby sister.” What would that look like? I don’t try to take that from her or lead her like I’m her husband. Don’t square off into each other’s bedrooms, dorm rooms. Make no provision for the flesh.” You get out in the place where you can talk about things that are holy and good and encouraging because ultimately if you are going to marry her, that sexual desire, tension, all that’s good, but when you’re married, a good percentage of your time is just going to be hanging out.
It would mean they use all their resources to help her be all that she’s meant to be under God. I encourage her to be around other women who inspire her. I’ll talk to young men sometime that say, “I’m dating a girl. I’ve already fused our quiet times together.” I’m like, “I don’t know what that means, man. If you hit the gas on expediting the physical part, you’ve missed what dating is for. Would I want to hang out with her for the next 30 years? Then, as you get to know her emotionally, you start to connect and go, “I think this is the one.” Then you can enter that covenant of marriage, and you’re off to the races.
I would say that the impulse towards pairing off is good, it’s from the Lord. I think a lot of young men and young women want to create this unique semi-covenanted space that, under God, doesn’t really exist.